I have mentioned to many of my close friends and family that it feels like I am in a season of the TV show ‘Sliders’. My mind sliding from the ‘normal’ life and childhood with my ‘normal’ father to another true reality where my Dad was/is actually crazy and the universe I was living in was not normal!
The ‘normal’ universe I slide from did not have Nazi Dinosaurs with laser-shooting eyeballs like an underfunded Australian television show. No, it was just the universe that I lived in. A universe created by the nurture and trauma it produced, coupled with the nature of a society that teaches you what a father and family are supposed to be. A weird bizarro world where you are able to function and everything happening to/around you are and always will be ‘normal’.
Any person you rationalize your ‘normal’ with sees clearly what you refer to as ‘normal’, is anything but normal in true reality! They would even tell you over and over again “DUDE! your Dad is CRAZY!”. The universe I have been ‘sliding’ into these last couple months, shows me that is indeed the truth of it. Crazy was just ‘normal’ in bizarro universe. I have many ‘slides’ over these last two months where I am able to go back and ‘rewrite’ my past.
Now I am not creating new memories, not at all. These are memories that exist,
lots, most, all of them were closed off to me due to trauma, yet every ‘slide’ takes me closer to true reality. Every door to trauma opened leads to another, and another after that. Some ‘slides’ I am able to keep closed for another day, a day that may never come, or a day when I am with a mental professional to help me handle the fallout from the timeline change. Or maybe a professor that has years of experience with time travel! “Hey Google! set up a reminder to have lunch with John Rhys-Davies.”
This is more like learning a new skill or scientific truth, and then applying it backward over your entire life. For example, seeing that the issues I have had these last several years with my youngest Son, were my fault directly, due to me applying the same tools and child-rearing methods my father applied to me. Or that the police are not the enemy and a legal gang, they are the helping individuals that talked to me every day while we fled town, the person that would put themselves in harm’s way coming by my house multiple times a day, they are the people that confront crazy in reality for reals everyday. Both of these things in truth and reality are not normal, but they were normal to me my entire life, and so much more.
Up to this point, I have been able to ‘slide’ when I choose to, see something that doesn’t seem to fit and start looking back, asking questions to myself and others, thinking about how the new truth would apply to now known mistakes I made in my past, and figure out the truth of it. Applying reality and truth, to the fear, then the memory becomes clear, or multiple memories at once in some case.
Today though was a different form of Time Travel all together and I barely made it back, completely exhausted, both mentally, and physically, but I made it back. H.G. Wells never warned us the level of physical shape, mental fortitude you need to be at before you time travel, so kids don’t try this at home!