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May 30th, 1977 My Father, Mother, and hospital staff brought me into the world.

Today is May 30th, 2018, I turned 41, today is my last birthday with dad.

The alarm never went off! I had my shower, brushed my teeth, was fully dressed, on my second cup of coffee, well before the scheduled alarm. I had butterflies in my stomach, nervous about seeing my father, excited for the birthday gift he would give me today!

I was early to our scheduled morning appointment, giving myself plenty of time for the 4-minute commute. Shoes polished, I walk through the revolving door and remove my brown leather belt, new, still stiff from the display rack, what is the average amount of time to break in a belt? Is it about the same time as a baseball cap? I place the belt along with my phone, watch, and other metal items into a stainless steel bowl, polished by thousands of scratches from the small personal effects of others that came before. Has my father left his mark here as well?! I wait my turn in line before the boy in the badge waves me through. *BUZZ!!* I pull up my pants, displaying the socks my wife picked out to match my shirt. I grin at the colorful taco’s running up my calves, and put my belt back on, snap my watch, twist my wrist, good I am still on time, 10 mins before I am set to meet Dad.

The sign says ‘second floor’, I decided to take the stairs in order to breathe and think…don’t forget to breathe. I open my eyes, I arrived at the first landing. I grab and grip the handrail for balance, support, motivation; I am not the first to stand here nor will I be the last. Breathe, breathe, don’t forget to breathe, good now move!

I left my hat in the car, swipe down set DND mode, pocket my phone. Instead of heading inside I head to the large bay window and look out, let the rest of the people that came to my party get their seats first. Breath, breath, good now move! ‘Pull Door’, ‘Silence Your Phone’, ‘Remove Your Hat’, so far so good!

Everyone seems to be here, everyone in their seats waiting for the party to start. I don’t see Dad!, did he come?!, Where is he!? It is a full house, maybe he is on the other side of that girl smiling at me? I return the smile and find my seat on the front row….breathe, breathe don’t forget to breathe.

A throat clears, my heart races, I have trouble swallowing, he’s here! My Dad is here! He came, after all, I hear him talking! That’s him in the blue t-shirt talking to the older gentlemen in the suit. That must be my Dad’s lawyer, the bailiff walks over and uses an explanation mark to ask my Dad to stop talking! I smile, yeah… that’s my dad. I shake my head… that’s my Dad.

Breathe, remember to breathe “Meyers vs. Meyers”, now move!

Your honor, I am representing Clifford Meyers, my client would like to open his present from his father the last one he will ever ask for.

Your Honor, My client thinks his son is unworthy of his gift, and I request we go to trial. 

Holy Fuck! not again! NOT AGAIN! gasp! CHOKE!….BREATHE! breathe, remember to breathe! A light motivating hand guiding me touches my back, the sleeve of the suit pushing me forward, towards the exit, now move!

Today I turned 41.

Today I learned to move.

Move Cliff, keep moving…..

Today I asked my Dad for protection, I asked for the last time.

Breath Cliff, remember to breathe, breathe………

Today I learned I can protect myself.

Today is the last birthday I ever had with my Dad.

Today I dropped my request for the order of protection against Martyn Meyers.

Today I lost my Dad, a dad I never had.

Goodbye Dad…